I think every onion must dream to end up in an Alsatian onion tart…. oh la la

 

So inspiring.  Of course, he is making a tart, of course I have tears in my eyes and I’m drooling.

Birfday Goals

Today is my birthday and want to set some goals for myself… but the only goal I can think to have any meaning to me right now is just this:

 

I want to get up everyday, set everyday goals for myself, achieve everyday success, and honor the powers that be in my life by living up to my potential.

What does that mean? Something different every day but I know that when I was going through treatment and after, when I felt kind of lost, I was able to find a tremendous amount of peace and personal pride in everyday success, small success, like walking it all the way to my parents Inn (from their house) two weeks after major abdominal surgery and getting up every single morning and going down to the treadmill they have in the basement and interval running for 30 minutes, even if my legs hurt so much by the end that I was in audible pain and tears.  I drove myself and I need to wake up like I felt I was then.

I have let fear creep into my life…. fear that I might lose my job and fear that I might never find love again and fear that I cannot lose the weight or fear that I will never have a bakery again….

Those kind of fears dishonor who I am and what has driven me in my life all along.  I believe that one can awake love and light in their life through everyday success and living up to one’s potential every day.  And it can be goals as small as “I want to write a menu for myself for the week and stick to it” or “I want to workout today”…. or “I want to write a budget for myself and stick to it” … it doesn’t have to weight related…. “I want to go for a walk everyday for my lunch break to smell the roses” or “I want to sit down at a table for each meal and enjoy it”…. this is what I believe is right and energetically positive and this represents who I am or who I want to be and I am going to set a goal today to do that because it is important to me.

I used to understand this and had balance and something has happened and I don’t feel alive like I did…. but I’m sick of feeling confused and sad about it….. because that is just another thing holding me back from changing it…..

So that is my goal.  To live up to my potential, even if it is hard or the things I desire for myself are difficult to achieve…. because I am not afraid and I believe that what happens in my life is all part of a journey that I’m on and I accept and trust that journey and what it brings…. whatever it brings.

That’s right, if you thought I was already pretty awesome….. I believe I have the capacity to be MORE awesome.  And so do you.

xoxoxoxo

Whitney!

RIP

Vote for Jeff!

Vote for my friend Jeff!  He is so hardworking and smart and funny and creative and daring and totally worthy of the win!  Take a look at the video he made for this contest and vote for him to win!  Please! (Note, you do have to be a facebook member to vote.)

https://apps.facebook.com/smallbusinesspush/profile/113/

If only you knew, everything I do is for you.

Oh, to be able to go to France and train in this art….

 

I am literally salivating…. it was the mustard addition that threw it over the edge for me… I love savory souffle.

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true

The right words?

I was just in my local grocery store, at which they know me too well (I am an everyday type of shopper) and I went to the register and the employee working there happens to be a young man I chat with often and today I asked him how he is and he said that the day had not started so well and I asked why.

He told me that his neighbor was dying of brain cancer and I of course said I was so sorry and asked how old he was and he said he’s 60 and I said all of the questions… “When did you find out?” “How long has he had this going on?” etc.

He said he had been responding well for a while but they put a splint in to drain fluid and it quickly metastasized… and I said…

Make sure that while you have this time with him you find out everything else about his life that he was proud of and that brought him joy and that he thinks about and reflects on because so often people who pass from cancer are remembered for their cancer struggle and I would never want my cancer struggle to be the lasting memory people in my life have of me.  And have some fun, he needs to have some fun.

This made everything awkward feeling because he was noticeably emotional and I apologized for dwelling and he said thank you and I quickly left and wondered if that was wrong for me to say.  I never know if I’m crossing a line.

I am coming off a week of ongoing illness and I may be a bit tuckered out and emotional too but I am writing this because I feel sad for him and insecure about what I said to him.

xoxoxo